


Everything has changed

by dreamerinheaven



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellarke Endgame, Briller endgame, Bryan needs a hug, Clarke and Bryan become besties over heartbreak, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Getting Back Together, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, and went into space, briller - Freeform, not season 5 compliant since bryan is there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:16:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerinheaven/pseuds/dreamerinheaven
Summary: AU where Bryan went with Bellamy and the others into space and now has to face the new reality of Miller having a new boyfriend.





	Everything has changed

**Author's Note:**

> Briller and Bellarke will be endgame. No Jackson-bashing don't worry.

Bryan had tried his best to hold himself together ever since he had seen Nate kiss someone else a few hours ago but he felt like he was already close to his breaking point. Or whatever the hell you call it when you hide from your ex and his new boyfriend behind a giant pile of rocks.

He knew he should be rational about this. Him and Nate hadn’t parted on exactly good terms. Six years had passed and a part of him was glad that the man he loved hadn’t been all alone.

But god, it was hard to be rational and fair and the bigger person when he felt like something had reached inside of him to slowly rip his heart into shreds.

_He doesn’t love me anymore. He moved on, he chose someone else._

His eyes burned and he squeezed them shut, like that could somehow stop the tears from pouring out.

_Why does it matter if he sees you cry? He doesn’t care. He has a new boyfriend now._

Deep down Bryan knew that he was being unfair. Nate was a good person, sweet and kind and caring, he didn’t deserve it that Bryan thought like that about him. Even if he didn’t love him anymore, he would care if he saw him cry. Hell, he would probably feel bad because he’d know it was because of him and Bryan hated himself for the satisfaction he felt for a split second at the thought of that.

He didn’t want Nate to feel bad, he just -

“Bryan?”

Harpers voice sounded soft, worried. During the six years in space he had grown close to all of them, but he had spent most of his time with Harper and, when he wasn’t busy, Monty.

“Oh Bry, I’m so sorry.”, Harper whispered after sitting down next to him and gently put a hand onto his shoulder.

Something inside of him broke at that simple gesture, something that he had desperately tried to keep inside.

A strangled sob escaped his mouth and before he knew it Harper had wrapped her arms around him and he was helplessly crying his eyes out against her shoulder.

“It hurts.”, he whispered between violent sobs, “I know - I know I’m being horrible because I can’t be happy for him but - but I - I still love him and seeing - seeing him with -”

He barely noticed Harpers Hand on his back. He felt like his insides were on fire. Now that he finally broke down and started crying it felt like he could never stop.

“I know...I know I should just be the bigger person and be happy for him.”, he whispered in a broken voice after a couple of minutes, “I know I didn’t have the right to...to expect him to wait for me or something but - “

“Bry.”, Harper interrupted him softly, “It’s okay. You’re allowed to have feelings, you know? Heartbreak is never rational.”

“But...but I should be. That’s what a good person would do, right?”, he whispered and the shame about what he was about to say made his insides squirm, “I mean... I can see the way Clarke is looking at Bellamy when _he’s_ **not** looking but she still manages to talk to him, to work by his side regardless of... and I can’t even look at...at Nate because all I think about is that he doesn’t love me anymore and that at the end of the day I won’t be the one who will fall asleep in his arms.”

Saying his name out loud for the first time since they arrived on the ground hurt more than he had expected and Harper seemed to know that because she hugged him a little bit tighter.

“I just...I just want him back and I know that I can't and it hurts.”, he whimpered, “Harper, it hurts so much and I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to face him? How am I supposed to...to watch him be happy with someone else and pretend it doesn't eat me alive to...to know that he...”

Another sob escaped his lips and he didn't have the strength to stop it.

Harper caressed the back of his head in a way that was almost motherly and Bryan allowed himself to lean further into her embrace.

“It’s okay, Bry.”, she said softly, “Everything is going to be okay.”

Bryan didn’t believe that for one second, but instead of saying that he just hugged her a little bit tighter.

For a while neither of them said anything, the silence only disturbed by Bryans muffled crying and the noise of the camp in the background.

So it startled Bryan when Harper softly said: “He should’ve told you.” once he had calmed down enough to not continue to sob uncontrollably. He looked up and was surprised to see that the look on his friends’ face was dark – and angry. “He shouldn’t have just kissed him right in front of you, he should have had the decency to pull you aside and tell you instead of jumping it on you like that!”

Bryan shook his head, defending Nate still such a natural part of himself that he didn’t even have to think about it. A reflex, like breathing. “He didn’t…he didn’t mean to hurt me.”, he said softly, “I – I made mistakes, before – before. He couldn’t have known that I – that I still…”

Harper shook her head. “No, Bry I’m serious. Even if he didn’t know, you two were a couple for a really long time. That wasn’t fair of him.”

“He didn’t see me.”, Bryan mumbled and didn’t that hurt? There had been a time when he was the very first thing Nate saw when entering a room – now he didn’t even notice him when he was standing a couple of feet away from him.

“He didn’t see me. You know Nate, if he had seen me there he wouldn’t have…”

Because Nate would never hurt someone’s feelings on purpose. He had just been collateral damage because he couldn’t have waited to get to his perfect new Doctor-boyfriend.

The second this thought crossed his mind Bryan hated himself a little bit more. God, no wonder Nate had moved on.

He felt Harpers’ eyes on him and suddenly she stood up and pulled him up by his arm. “Come on, let’s get you something to do. We still need to find places to sleep. So let’s go look for Monty and the others.”

Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand and pulled him away while looking around to find her boyfriend.


End file.
